rubycity_ooc | Test Drive meme

Doesn't this quaint little town of yours sport a single respectable graveyard?

[There is a young man on the video screen and he is quite irritated at the moment. He is kneeling in front of a small pile of bleached bones and skulls, yet he gives it a scornful glare. No surprise, these are merely animal bones, though he is wearing some human bones and a human skull on his belt. The clothes that go with the macabre decorations are no less bizarre, with his velvet jacket and lacey poet's shirt he looks as if he had stepped right out of a vampire novel.]

Will I truly be forced to kill someone to gain possession of a decent corpse? It's ridiculous!

It is the very same question I have had since my arrival~!

[Whoever this man is, he can understand what he is going through. And the way he's dressed makes Undertaker wonder if he's also interested in human anatomy.]

A pleasure to meet you, Sir. You can call me Undertaker~

[He is not so much interested in the living as in the dead but he does appreciate the anatomy of a well-preserved skeleton. These are easier to animate.

Either way, this man has gained his interest as much as someone who doesn't reek of decay is likely to. He might even make a special effort not to be completely insufferable. If he will admit it or not, the necromancer is lonely.]

Do tell me if you ever receive an answer from the fools in charge. At this rate I will be forced to create my own company.

[He inclines his head ever so slightly.] Aristeo Regis. I would like to say it's a pleasure but I'm not very pleased right now.

[Who ever spoke of a living human?

Interested or not, the man made Undertaker curious and he wished to know more.]

I got the chance to do so once but I doubt the fact that we lack a graveyard is bothering them much.

[He tips his hat.] Of course. There aren't many people who are pleased to arrive at a place as strange as this one. I have been lacking guests since I came here and it puts me out of work...

[He nods, it doesn't surprise him to hear that their captors show no interest in supplying certain interested parties with a graveyard. That makes the situation no less vexing, though.]

I'm not all that displeased to find myself in this place. [He waves a hand clothed in black lace dismissively.] That is not to say I'm not displeased at all, but I have lived in less hospitable places.

What displeases me is the company - or the lack of acceptable company. [His voice gains a sharp edge as he is reminded of his plight.] I have no desire to keep company with living humans! [He adds a scornful glare just to make clear that yes, he knows he's being insulting and no, it is no misunderstanding.]

[Well, what can he say. All that's left for them is to get comfortable with the thought of exploring the anatomy of the unknown beasts of this place. Although it would be suspicious if a simple Undertaker went to slay beasts...]

I suppose there is worse than that... [He pokes the watch with a long, black fingernail.

And his next words make his grin go wider. Much wider.]

It is certainly different to talk with the living than with the guests I used to have at home... Although... there is one thing about the living that's quite charming about them and that's the way how they can make me laugh.

Yet, my guests... With their beautifully stitched skin as white as wax, just like when they were alive. And their mouths that cannot clamour noisily or tell lies any longer. Aren't they far more beautiful than when they were alive?

[Black fingernails? Nice enough, he supposes, though his only reaction is a faint sneer. You can't let it show that you approve, people won't try anymore if you reward them too easily. Never mind that no one cares enough to try, a necromancer should have standards.

It is when Undertakes speaks of his "guests" back home that Aristeo becomes truly intrigued and unable to hide it. Eagerness gleams in his eyes and there is actually a smile, a small and soft one, downright wistful, on his lips. It makes him look softer, younger.]

They are beautiful... [He runs his fingers gently over the pile of bones, caressing them ever so gently as if they were a lover.] Gleaming bones, bleached and aged but not yet brittle, infused with your power, your will... Or earlier yet, the sweet smell of decay... Glassy eyes... It's a shame everyone gets so worked up if you dig up a corpse. They are the true criminals. If they love their dead, why do they bury them in dirt?

[It seems they have found a topic they both like and can talk about for quite some time. He didn't have to try so hard now, did he?]

It's why I love my profession~! [He chuckled.] But that's the human mind. Most are scared too easily by things that they don't understand or don't know. Death is such a thing, despite that it's only a new cycle that begins.

[No one is more surprised than Aristeo that he has actually found someone whom he... No, he isn't going to say likes, that would be outrageous, but there's no denying he holds Undertaker in less than utter contempt. Which means he likes him by his standards.]

There can be no new life without death. It is the cycle of nature, one creature has to die for another to live. Yet the humans fear death for they fear their own mortality... and they fear those who are like me because we represent death to them. It is merely another reason why they are worthy of nothing but contempt. Small minds caught up in small lives.

[He gives Undertaker another hard, long look. Oh, he is quite curious what he is, yet he is too proud to admit that he can't figure it out for himself. Pride can be nearly as vexing s a lack of graveyards.]

[Most people would describe him as morbid, while he would describe himself as eccentric. It's nice to meet a person who didn't freak out at him being different, someone actually thinking similar to him...]

Exactly. [But despite all the flaws the living had, there were exceptions.] I am not much different. As an Undertaker I am used to odd stares and the lies of the living, but it hardly bothers me anymore.

[He lived a too long life to be bothered by it. And Aristeo can wonder as much as he wants and guess what he is aside from being an Undertaker.]

[He laughs sharply, it is accompanied by a smile that holds more resemblance with a sneer.] The stares! Yes, they are quaint. I suppose it is amusing to play with expectations... until it gets tiring, anyway. [The smile tightens.] I would like to say the opinions of the rabble don't bother me, but I can't afford not to let it bother me.

You're talking to an infamous man, do you feel honoured yet? [The smile is back, coy and seductive this time, yet it disappears as quickly as it had come.] Would you believe I had a bounty on my head before I was whisked away to this lovely little town?

I also don't understand what most of them have against sleeping in a custom-made coffin, it's really comfortable and yet they freak out~! [He pokes his watch again.]

Am I? It is an honor then~! [While as a retired Death God he is quite famous as well. If more as a traitor than anything.] I could imagine it.

Indeed! Coffins are very cosy and they add a certain aura of flamboyant, high-class style to a bedroom! [He sighs, put out.] They are near impossible for me to acquire, though. With the life I lead I simply can't afford to carry one around with me. Fortunately they come with the corpses you dig up.

[He laughs, a warm, rich sound that isn't mocking for once, or at least not particularly so, in response to Undertaker's flattery. He has always been rather susceptible to it, mostly because it is extremely rare.] Oh? Could you indeed picture me being a wanted man? I'm flattered! It's ridiculous how people overreact! You steal their teenage daughter's corpse to have a nice little chat with her and keep her company in the netherworld and they think you intend to defile her corpse! She was more child than woman when she died!

Especially custom-made ones~! If you like I can make you one the way you like all I have to do is take your sizes~! [It would be a coffin still. He has made himself a few since his stay and... decorated his apartment with them.

And considering what kind of... occupation he has, it's more than likely.] Oh, people always think the worst first~! In my job you wouldn't have any problems like that, since it's your job to tend your guests before the family grants them the last honor.

Yes! [Screw detached poise, he has an offer for a custom-made coffin! Aristeo's eyes gleam with something that might just be interpreted as happiness, though he would scoff at such a claim. He coughs awkwardly.] Yes, I would like a coffin of my own. I will find a way to pay you back though I doubt my currency has any value to you.

I might consider posing as an undertaker if the hardships become too debilitating, but I have found my own ways. [The lift side of his mouth curls upwards in a wry half-grin.] It is useful at times to be considered eccentric, insane even.

[A coffin should make everyone as happy as him! No need to be ashamed!] I am not interested in money. Especially not the Queen's money. However... A first-rate laugh should be enough of a payment.

Is that so? [He's thinking if he should make an exception, it's so rare to met someone with the same interests as yourself... a human on top.]

I agree, it's very useful at times~!

[He gives a tiny nod, though his eyebrows knit together in confusion.] What an odd request for payment... I don't laugh often but if you make me a coffin it warrants trying my best.

[Another little nod.] It is indeed useful to pretend that you are insane, at least as long as you are wealthy enough to be considered eccentric instead of mad. You are given certain liberties. [He quirks his lips into a little sneer.] Wear a fancy dress and some make-up and the peasants will be too outraged by your manner of dress to discuss that you spend hours on the local graveyard.

[At least he wouldn't have to worry about being unable to pay him. For the moment at least.]

I admit, I actually enjoy it a lot to see people freaking out~! You should see their faces when I tell them about my hobbies, it's priceless~!

[His lips twitch and well, he doesn't try fighting it anymore, he grins. This genuine petty excitement at another's expense is quite heart-warming.]

That proves that the general populace has abominable taste. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the company of the dead. It is a perfectly reasonable hobby!

[People could call him morbid but it was a little pleasure of his.]

That it is~!

[He inclines his head.]

I look forward to letting you take the measurements.

[To his surprise, Aristeo finds he actually does. It would be a pleasant change to have some like-minded company.]

Test Drive meme

Aristeo Regis / OC

[Video]

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