think we kissed but i forgot

[hypercompetent]

THE TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT MEME

one ➝ post your character's name in the subject line of your comment
two ➝ post with a tfln 
three ➝ respond to people's texts!
four ➝ fun time for all!

Comments

[you_have_heart]

Option A) Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of mead, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable

Option B) Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.

Option c)we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.

c

[fightforhonorandnopay]

you got the wrong number stop I keep telling you I have NO PANTS to PANTS

[crowsicle]

dude i convinced you i was your conscience for like fifteen minutes last night
you weren't just "a little drunk"

[hypercompetent]

you told me to follow my heart
:(

[winterhowl]

I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.

[watcherjunior]

You can't see this, but I'm slow clapping right now.

[primrosepath]

A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.

[crowsicle]

is that what you did with my missing pinion

[darlingdraculina]

I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.

[desertedchateau]

sounds like a good place to start.

also did you still want vodka b/c this orange juice looked lonely.

[hypercompetent]

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!

[you_have_heart]

Clearly I was not present.

[untilavalon]

I have a gentlemanly vagina

[unit031]

i need an adult

[trainsurnadders]

i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

[fightforhonorandnopay]

that explains the mess, that is ONE big earwig

[mamamartini]

I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.

[crowsicle]

oopss
i just thogut maybe
caus eim a ghost
if i jsut phase halfway through it what would it hapen
sciense

[acesover]

It's okay, I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord".

[darlingdraculina]

I feel like I should feel sorry for you.

Buuuut I don't.

[aureatus]

Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.

[untilavalon]

You should have been pointed out the door.

[motherof]

i am officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk

[untilavalon]

Are you in need of assistance???

PICK ONE IDK

[sharpiewielder]

A.) That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.

B.) I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore

C.) YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!

C of course

[hypercompetent]

SURPRISE I'M ALIVE!!!! 8D

[all_onis_are_true]

Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing

[desertedchateau]

I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it

[timekeepsonslipping]

XP eeeeew that sounds gross!

[war_dog]

I have already consumed over 10 large bottles of tequila. I do not understand what the point of this is. Why do you all do this? What do humans see in this bitter-tasting swill?

[darlingdraculina]

I'm not even sure if that's humanly possible.

An' then I remember you're not human.

[wright_idea]

So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.

[unvarnished]

if you didnt eat all the doritos can i have the rest?

[badatmyjob]

Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder

[hypercompetent]

STORY OF MY LIFE

[consciencecricket]

i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.

[unvarnished]

sometimes i dont even use a spoon

[unvarnished]

Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.

[consciencecricket]

Not if you're vauge about it since "no, over there" works at least 5 times out of 10.

[fairbrook]

He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.

[untilavalon]

I'm afraid to ask who.

[timekeepsonslipping]

Hey, dudes? you left your knickers in my dumpster. O.o/ and who has my knickers?

[you_have_heart]

Terribly sorry about that. Shall we have an exchange?

[fightforhonorandnopay]

Stuck in tree stop cannot get down stop send help stop

[unit031]

don't you have wings??

[justaduck]

So somebody asked her if she's okay. She turned around, started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette. It's amazing how she managed not to fall.

[sagittaspei]

was it a good pirouette?

[seeyousuffer]

1. He kept staring at my ass and repeating "it's just a beautiful piece of artwork."

OR:

2. I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.

2

[untilavalon]

There is honestly no force of law by which I ever should have been required to know this information.