think we kissed but i forgot

[hypercompetent]

THE TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT MEME

one ➝ post your character's name in the subject line of your comment
two ➝ post with a tfln 
three ➝ respond to people's texts!
four ➝ fun time for all!

Comments

[you_have_heart]

Option A) Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of mead, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable

Option B) Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.

Option c)we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.

[crowsicle]

dude i convinced you i was your conscience for like fifteen minutes last night
you weren't just "a little drunk"

[winterhowl]

I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.

[primrosepath]

A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.

[darlingdraculina]

I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.

[hypercompetent]

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!

[untilavalon]

I have a gentlemanly vagina

[trainsurnadders]

i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning

[mamamartini]

I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.

[acesover]

It's okay, I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord".

[aureatus]

Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.

[motherof]

i am officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk

PICK ONE IDK

[sharpiewielder]

A.) That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.

B.) I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore

C.) YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!

[all_onis_are_true]

Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing

[desertedchateau]

I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it

[war_dog]

I have already consumed over 10 large bottles of tequila. I do not understand what the point of this is. Why do you all do this? What do humans see in this bitter-tasting swill?

[wright_idea]

So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.

[badatmyjob]

Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder

[consciencecricket]

i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.

[unvarnished]

Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.

[fairbrook]

He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.

[timekeepsonslipping]

Hey, dudes? you left your knickers in my dumpster. O.o/ and who has my knickers?

[fightforhonorandnopay]

Stuck in tree stop cannot get down stop send help stop

[justaduck]

So somebody asked her if she's okay. She turned around, started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette. It's amazing how she managed not to fall.

[seeyousuffer]

1. He kept staring at my ass and repeating "it's just a beautiful piece of artwork."

OR:

2. I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.